About KD Mack

KD Mack (K. Douglas MacRae)

Here’s just a little bit about me: I find Egyptian history fascinating. I have a very strong interest in my family roots. I’m interested in astronomy, science fiction, the supernatural, religion, other cultures, art and music. I had a membership with the National Geographic Society for several years. I know that a sextant is not a place you’d make love while camping. I am in love and married to a massage therapist but I don’t often get massages. I like all animals, horses in particular. I’ve been within an arms reach of a 40-ton humpback whale. I once inadvertently foiled a bank robbery. I’ve stood inside the center of the Great Pyramid of Khufu (Cheops). I’ve walked alone along the canals of Amsterdam. I stood atop of the World Trade Center mere weeks before they fell. I’ve had meetings at Warner Brothers Studios over launching a comic book. I kissed Gina Davis and flat out lied to Snoop Dogg. I flew an airplane and climbed from a horrific car crash without a scratch. I nearly accepted a Gemini award (Canadian Emmy Awards) but couldn’t get to the stage in time. I rode in a convertible Ferrari on my 27th birthday. I’ve appeared as a guest on a national talk show, briefly in one feature film and four major US TV series including Entertainment Tonight although I’m not an actor. I’ve met billionaire Harrison McCain but refuse to eat his french fries. I’ve seen more than my share of dead bodies but they still fascinate me. One fell on me from out of a closet. I nearly drowned in a rip tide. I fell from a 60-foot tall pine tree without breaking any bones. I’ve seen the rings around Saturn and the Moons of Jupiter through my telescope. I bought a $200 pair of cowboy boots and gave them away to my then roommate, Rowan Brewster because I didn’t like them and couldn’t bring them back. I don’t have my motorcycle license but plan on getting it soon. I’ve never had a broken bone. I have a birthmark on my right wrist. I eat using my left hand. I’m also a lefty at bat, golf and hockey but I write with my right hand. I can speak 18 French adjectives in less than 4 seconds. I used to use this to impress girls… It never did. I sang “I Had The Time of My Life” in a duet at my high school graduation with Becky Dreger. I don’t believe in God in the Christian sense but I do believe we are bound to all living things and when we die we return to the energy stream of life. I always put the toilet seat down. I like Van Morrison’s “Brown-Eyed Girl“. I’ve had cuts stitched up 3 times in my lifetime. I stole a Yoda Star Wars action figure from a store when I was 12. My father is my hero. I’m told my eyes appear to change color under certain lighting. My parents divorced when I was 8. They’re best friends today. I used to dress like Magnum PI in high school. I had a detective agency when I was 12. I dissected a human corpse in college and was unable to eat turkey for 6 months afterwards. I found and cleaned the skull of a large bottle nosed dolphin. I’ve never been in a fistfight. I know how to use Adobe Photoshop. I love a good cigar. I hate talking on the telephone. I’d much rather text someone. I want to be a cartoonist when I grow up. I think politicians were honorable people at one time long ago. Some still are. Root beer is my favorite soda. I have a night vision scope. I have never shaved my head. I had a bad teenage mustache and grew my first goatee at 27. I now sport a beard. I’m not concerned about looking younger. I’ve seen nearly every episode of The Simpsons. I have all episodes of South Park on DVD or downloaded. I weigh 210lbs. I’m a closet Trekkie. I once saved $25,000 in five months. I’m not very good at shooting pool or playing basketball but I’m good at nearly everything else I try. I love my mother. I know Uri Geller is not related to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I used to go rock climbing but no more because my rock climbing friends moved away. I check my bank balance at least three times a week thinking it will mysteriously go up. I have no fear of heights. I rented a 2003 Ford Mustang convertible Labor Day weekend 2003. My wife quit smoking in January of 2013. She hasn’t touched one since.  I’ve visited every province in Canada and over 40 states in the US. I’ve never been to Tibet. I’ve held $50,000 in cash and was never tempted to run off with it. I had a wood tic behind my ear when I was 10. I raised thousands of dollars on eBay selling my art, pics, and props associated to many TV shows I’ve worked on. I used the money to buy my wife’s engagement ring. I’ve raised over $30,000 for charity by donating my artwork to film/TV fan-hosted events. I once pretended I was an off duty cop to break up a fight on a public bus. I don’t like reality TV shows because I feel they don’t teach us anything about who we are or how we can make a difference in the world. I’m a good father. I love lobster but hate pork sausage baked in tomato sauce. I’ve had 5 dogs in my lifetime. I currently own a male Bernese Mountain Dog named Guinness. We adopted him three weeks after our first Bernese passed away. I grossly underestimated the pain I’d experience over the loss of a pet. I had an urge to become a crime scene investigator for 7 hours after watching CSI for the first time. I like babies but prefer children because they think you’re cool if you act stupid. I love Corona. I’ve never driven while under the influence of drugs or booze. I do not go to church. I found many childhood friends on Facebook and I’m glad. I’ve had one speeding ticket in my lifetime. I own six pairs of shoes and one pair of cowboy boots. I really love my current job but never talk about it. My first car was a 1979 red Pontiac Trans Am. I don’t like nightclubs. I don’t drink coffee. I’ve lost my baby toe nail once but it grew back. I used to drive a forklift at a roofing supply warehouse. I loved that job too. I still have a license to operate a forklift. I’ve held a severed human head. I’ve never truly hated anyone. I’d like to learn a second language. I thought French-Separatists were evil until I went to Montreal for the first time and in falling in love with the city, I realized I was wrong. Libre Quebec!! I’m allergic to everything I’ve been tested for but it doesn’t keep me from eating what I want or going anywhere. My brother and I shared a room until we were teenagers. My ex-girlfriend was 7 years older than me and had her nose nearly bitten by a German Shepard. I often have dreams about being Spider-Man. I sometimes wore a bow tie in high school and still hung around the in crowd. I had a two-page rejection letter from Marvel Comics. San Diego is the closest I’ve ever been to Mexico. I’ve lost my temper once as a teenager but never as an adult. I keep no secrets from my wife. I have a very playful side to my personality. I used to have a fear of losing my hair but I doubt I ever will so I’m cool with it now. Man, did it go gray fast! The first time I went to LA it was with one of my black friends who had long dreads. Super cool guy. I don’t floss because I snap it every time I try. I’ve never been arrested or charged with an offense. I can play Extreme’s More Than Words on the guitar but can’t sing it at the same time. I sold my cut-offs for $1000 at a charity auction. I sold one of my hand drawn comic covers for $1500. I was the lead singer in an air band in high school. The audience didn’t know we were faking it until word got out the next day. I would like to make a living based solely on my artistic abilities. I’ve never purposely damaged someone else’s property. I try to never go to bed angry at my wife. I always put toilet paper on the seat of public toilets. When I was a kid I squeezed a kitten too hard and it pooped on me. I liked the movie Daredevil but won’t let on to my friends who hated it. I can’t act to save my life. When I was a kid I blamed my brother for stealing our neighbor’s beer supply when in fact my friend and I made a mud volcano out of it. I don’t have a green thumb. I’m a 27% believer in Fung Shui. I don’t believe in psychics but I’d like to. I once stepped on a nail. I own a kilt made from my family’s tartan. I like Michael Jackson’s music. Bruce Springsteen is my fave. My metabolism is still fast. I’ve had 5 female roommates in my lifetime. When I moved to Toronto I lived with three gay men for five months. I turned 40 on October 1st, 2009 and I’ll be 65 on October 1st, 2034. I’m 44 as I write this sentence. I’ve been within a few feet of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip. I’ve shaken the hand of the former Prime Minister of Canada, Jean Cretien. I own an Apple Watch. I’ve been in a TV commercial and recognized on the street for it. My cousin poured sand in my ear when I was a kid. We laugh about it now. The longest road trip I’ve ever been on was from Regina, Saskatchewan to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia (approx. 4225 km or 2620 miles). I gave up teaching myself to play the fiddle cuz I was trying to learn it for the wrong reasons. I’d like to learn to play the bagpipes. I don’t think I’m better than anyone. My favorite book is Harper Lee’s, To Kill a Mockingbird. My favorite movie is the same. I always keep my promises. I asked my wife to marry me while atop of the Empire State Building. I’ve been keeping a journal since the mid nineties. I’ve never seen a UFO but would like to. I don’t believe in ghosts but would like to. I had a crush on my old boss when I worked at a clothing store. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Media Studies. I don’t like being the center of attention. In fact I hate attention. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I’ve had correspondence with Lynn Johnston, creator of the cartoon strip, For Better or For Worse. She likes my work. I’ve lived in four major cities in Canada. I’ve never lived in the US. My earliest childhood memory is of my great grandmother changing my diaper when I was about 8 months old. I once had a red phone in my office. It didn’t have a direct link to the President of Russia. I’ve eaten alligator. I think pirates from Somalia don’t want to kill but live in such poverty and corruption they have no choice but to be pirates. I worked in the film and TV business for 12 years. I had to drown a mouse to put it out of its misery. I’ve never hit anyone out of rage. I’ve never spray painted graffiti on anyone’s property. We used to have rotten apple fights on a farm where I grew up. I haven’t used my résumé in ten years. My friend Kyle Jenkins introduced me to the music of Queen when we were kids. I sometimes take things too personally. I’m not homophobic. I had a dream once I was in a band with Bruce Springsteen. I’ve seen him perform live two times. I was stabbed in the left forearm with a pencil in grade seven. If you look hard you can still see a small blue-ish scar. I have two good friends who are identical twins. After seven years I can finally tell them apart. I’ve crossed the Mojave Desert three times. Twice in a convertible. I’ve eaten at the TriBeca Grille in Manhattan twice and paid for it once. I workout as often as I can. I love to swim. I could count to a quadrillion if I had the time. I could walk to Argentina if I had the time too. Bad personal hygiene terrifies me. I shower everyday, wear cologne, chew breath freshening gum and wash my hands after I use the bathroom. I believe in life on other planets. It’s a Wonderful Life makes me cry every time I see it. I’ve never threatened another person. I was chased by a dog when I was a teenager. I don’t have a fear of dogs today. I love to dine out. My wife and I share the cooking duties. I often watch The Discovery Channel. At the time I write this my favorite shows are Game of Thrones, Mythbusters and South Park. I think being a cartoonist is a great way to never grow up. I’m never depressed but I do get frustrated. I love Thai food. I never stare at a woman’s breasts when I’m talking to her. I wait till she looks away. I’ve been on UI before. I worked with Samuel L. Jackson. I sat in his trailer for two hours once while we chatted about women and life in general. I’m a good driver but I get irritated sometimes. I can play Kansas’ “Dust in the Wind” a zillion times and not get bored of it. But it’s still not my favorite song. I can’t operate a backhoe but I bet I could figure it out. I think the greatest place on Earth is Prince Edward Island, Canada. I never take my talents for granted. I believe in reincarnation, but not as a koala bear or a pencil, etc. I almost never sleep in. I ran away from home twice. I love taking naps on weekend afternoons. 2nd hand smoke scares me. I don’t get bored easily. I can control most of my dreams. I have dreampt in color. I have no expensive clothing although I sometimes wish I had. I’ve been bitten by a police dog. I sleep better on the right side of the bed. That’s my wife’s side now. I became a father on March 19th, 2009 for the first time. May 15th, 2011 for the 2nd. I’m not a jealous guy. I used to be. I’ve had a dead body fall on me from out of a closet. I have no idea what an ultrasonic lithotripter is. I failed grade nine once. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I have two sisters and one brother. I have no hangnails. I have seven watches. I want more. I have an Executive Membership at CostCo. I like camping but haven’t gone in several years. I hand fed a raccoon on top of my friend’s garage. I secretly want to be an actor. I have a Hoberman Sphere. I could climb inside it if only I were a contortionist. I’ve done Bill Phillips’ Body For Life Program. I have an ING Direct savings account. I’m earning interest at 2.75% as I write this sentence. I can quote almost every line from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I don’t contribute regularly to my RRSP. I don’t download files illegally. I went swimming in Malibu. I have a fear of large spiders. I’ve been to two NBA games. I often prefer the company of older people than those my own age. I find them much  interesting. I love Necco Wafers. My favorite kind of car is a 1969 Pontiac GTO. Knight Rider was my favorite TV show as a kid. My parents always gave me toys for Christmas that would stimulate my creativity. I know the difference between an acronym and an anachronism. I type very fast with two fingers. I call it the “hunt and peck” method. The dentist told me I can keep my wisdom teeth since they all grew in straight with room to spare. I would like to leave something behind to remind the world I was here. Not sure what that is yet. I have two beautiful daughters that will never know how crazy I am about them. I’m a light sleeper. I have two guitars. I drive a 2013 Limited Ford Explorer. I have about 350 DVDs but rarely watch the bonus material. I try not to buy video games as I feel they rob me of my creative time. I rescued a large turtle trapped from a storm drain. I ripped my favorite pair of jeans in the process. I sometimes think I’m living in the wrong century. I’ve read C.S. Lewis’ the Chronicles of Narnia. I have not read The Lord of the Rings series although I’ve seen the films. I miss my high school days but I would not want to relive them. I got my driver’s license in May of 1986. My grandfather played the fiddle. He and my grandmother died years ago. I miss them a lot and still think of them almost every day. I look very much like my older brother. I had a KISS t-shirt when I was a kid. I thought it was the coolest thing even though I never listened to their music. It had sparkles in the lettering. I like being around my wife’s family. I’ve been deep-sea fishing in the Atlantic several times. My mother is from Newfoundland. I have never been knocked unconscious. I almost introduced myself to Patrick Stewart but couldn’t recall the name of a mutual friend (I was going to name as an ice breaker). 99% of my friends do not smoke. “Spider-Man” is my favorite comic book. I didn’t eat pork for two years because a pig smiled at me once. I hate cleaning the bathroom. I think I’m a good person. I used to love ninja movies. I’m an introvert who tries to be an extrovert. I drink bottled water. I have an excellent credit rating. I own many products bearing the Oakley label including two watches, two pairs of Oakley sunglasses and a pair of Oakley shoes. I was on the volleyball and track team in high school. I’ve raced in a corvette (legally). I once worked a 21 hour day. I’m a very optimistic person. I am not Batman. I remember owning a camera that took 110 film. I bring order to chaos. Mike Oldfield’s Mistake was my favorite song when I was a little kid. I’m a hypocrite but I try very hard not to be. I feel sorry for Justin Beiber. Great talent but surrounded by poor role models. I sometimes like to still believe there’s a Santa Claus. I do a good deal of research before I make an expensive purchase. I thought Art College was a big waste of time. I believe I have a very old soul. I did not coin the phrase “It takes one to know one”. I did, however, coin the term “pescachickaturkatarian” (PESS-KAH-CHIK-AH-TURK-AH-TAR-EE-AN: one who eats only the meat of fish, chicken and turkey). I’ve never dated an African American woman. I am not racist it’s just that the opportunity never presented itself. I never dated a woman from Holland either. Oh wait…I did. I have a bottle of dirt from North Dakota. I have three canopic jars filled with sand I took from the base of one of the Great Pyramids. I once owned a skateboard because I wanted to be Marty McFly. I used to ride a scooter through the halls in an office I once worked. People would call me Scooter Boy. I always take responsibility for my mistakes. I also take credit when credit is due. I know very little about the mechanics of a car. I used to put coins on the railroad track and let the trains squish them. Stephen King’s “Stand By Me” reminds me of my own childhood in many ways. I’ve lived in rural areas at a few points in my life. I have two tattoos. I love chopping wood. I used to have an entire barn as a clubhouse. I call pizza “grease wheels”. I’ve never seen “Fight Club” in its entirety. I enjoy writing in my blog. My life was always good but got so much better when my daughters were born. I used to eat protein bars. I don’t want to be wealthy I just don’t want to struggle financially. I’ve been on the sea more times than I can recall but I don’t recall ever being seasick. I was going to go skydiving but cancelled my trip after having a dream I died in a skydiving accident the night before the actual jump. I would like to go one full day without my sight just to appreciate what blind people live with everyday. I have little interest in watching sports on TV but I love a live game. I have a friend who lives in Japan. I once had an e-mail from a man in Iraq who saw my cartoons on the internet and liked them. I had an e-mail from a man in the US who thought my art sucked. I was nearly run down by a drunk driver. I got his plate and he was arrested the next day. I made a short superhero film in 2014 which made national news and appeared on the front page of the Toronto Star. I spent an evening at the exclusive nightclub SkyBar in the Mondrian Hotel in Los Angeles with friends. I showed up to a book signing by Rudy Giuliani. He didn’t. I’ve worked with lots of them but I’ve never asked a celebrity for their autograph. I’ve been asked for my autograph hundreds of times. It makes me uncomfortable when people ask for my autograph. I’m just a regular dude. I love vanilla frosting on cherry cake. I’m a good downhill skier although I’ve fallen over more than once while waiting in line for the lift. I don’t use my digital camera now that I have a smartphone. I’ve ridden in a police car. My wife is an incredible photographer. I try to drink at least sixty four ounces of water a day. I pee at least 12 times a day as a result. I would never want to be famous for my face. I’d prefer to be famous in name only. I’ve been to the Viper Room in LA. I have a PayPal account. I have appeared in two books. I know one is still available in book stores now. I don’t worry about much. I had a wart on my right thumb when I was a kid. It got hacked off by a hockey stick (the wart, not my thumb). I have a credit card that insures me when I rent a car. I once lived in a house that was over 100 years old. I spent as much time living in Saskatchewan as I did in Nova Scotia. I still consider Nova Scotia my home even though I don’t live there now. I believe that man did land on the moon. I don’t believe OJ is innocent. I spent four nights sailing down the River Nile. I did not discover Teflon. Dr. Roy J. Plunkett did. When we were kids my brother once hung me on a fence in the middle of winter and left me there. My grandmother had to get me down. My first rock concert was Tom Cochrane and Red Rider with Holly Woods and Toronto. My latest was ColdPlay. When I was a little kid I’d fantasize about owning the Black Stallion. I’d paste a clipping from a magazine over a photograph to make it look like I actually had the horse. My mother once dated George Reed, the Canadian Football League Hall of Famer. I nearly knocked a lady unconscious while at a driving range, twice. I kept hitting the ball accidentally into her stall. I love the drive-in theater. I hate the food there. I have no fear of flying. I have no fear of snakes. I have two credit cards. I use Q-tips everyday. I don’t think I’m hard to buy for. I’m materialistic sometimes. I wear underwear. I shop at Toys-R-Us and not just for my kids. When I have a bath I play with my Marine action figures and their Zodiac boat. I also add an element of danger with two rubber sharks. I don’t think I look like Liev Schreiber. I once photo-doubled for Samuel L. Jackson’s feet (in shoes of course). I have three pairs of sunglasses. I have an iPhone, which I try not to use while I’m driving. I love to go clam digging in Prince Edward Island. I have driven a ski-doo and a sea-doo. I’ve broken up a bar fight. I have nothing against vegans. I have never been attacked by a shark. I’ve visited the set of West Wing and met Rob Lowe and Martin Sheen through a mutual friend. I’ve never watched the show. I have an autographed photo of Courtney Cox. I sent her one of me in return. I was used as Brennan Mulwray in the TV series Mutant X for camera and special effects tests before Victor Webster was hired for the role. They had me shoot electricity out of my hands. I don’t understand the significance of wax museums. I’d like to have a recording studio in my home some day just for fun. I use an Oxford English dictionary. I refuse to use Websters. People tell me I’m a much better singer than I give myself credit for. Tim Robbins stole my cab in New York City. I liked him in The Shawshank Redemption. I think Europeans have a better work ethic that Canadians or Americans. I’ve been stung by bees multiple times in a row but have never had an allergic reaction. When I was a kid I prayed to God for a spaceship like the ones in the old TV series Space 1999. I told my father to expect a big surprise in the backyard any moment. The spaceship never came. I’ve never thrown up in the back of a cab. My brother owned an orange Honda Civic he called “The Pumpkin”. I do not own a Rolex but I do have a Rolodex. I’ve been the Best Man at two weddings. I use to make purchases on an impulse. I thought Iron Man was an amazing film. I designed Iron Man’s suit for a movie 20 years before the film came out. The syndicate Tribune Media Services called my cartoon strip “a cut above the rest” but weren’t ready to offer me a contract. I used to wish I had an SUV. Now I do. I used to want to live in LA so badly. If I really like a movie, I could watch it over and over. I often make great sacrifices when it comes to my job. I don’t think I’m a selfish person. I really consider what the after effects would be if I were to buy something expensive. I still believe there are good people left in the world. When I worked in film and TV I didn’t feel I got paid enough for the stresses I experienced on the job. My favorite color is red. My favorite number is eight. I have no idea why anyone would have a favorite number. I workout 6 days a week religiously. In my cartoon strip Anubis Rising, the three main characters are the three sides to my personality. I’ve never cheated on an exam in university. I have cheated on tests in high school. I sometimes still count with my fingers. I went to the San Diego Comic Convention in 2001. I will go again. I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel but woke up before disaster struck. I’ve driven an 18 wheeler. I’ve driven from Calgary, Alberta to Regina, Saskatchewan in a corvette. I am a Libra. I like fortune cookies. I have an ego but I’m not egotistical. I met my wife through an Internet dating service. I can get along with mostly anyone. I once owned a small business I named after the Isle of Skye off the West coast of Scotland. My first dog was named Mini after a friend of my father’s, not the mouse. I’ve seen the Northern Lights on many occasions. I’ve yet to see the Southern Lights. I believe that I will see the Earth from space before I die. I once fell asleep in a Chinese food restaurant after drinking too much. I’ve smoked a $50 cigar. I saw the last sunset of the twentieth century sink into the Western Desert of Egypt. I captured it on digital video. I believe Jesus was misunderstood. I think the “Family Guy” is hilarious. I own the same green tactical jacket as Adam Savage on Mythbusters. I nearly went to Peru but then terrorists attacked the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. I decided against going in case war broke out and I couldn’t get back home. I think there’s more to life than I realize right now. I eat very healthfully except Saturday. That’s my cheat day!! I use American spelling of certain words when e-mailing American friends and clients. I’m a very confident person. I take more showers than I do baths. I have read much of the Bible but never the entire thing. I believe it’s harder to make friends the older you get. I sometimes go out of my way to make others feel comfortable. I have a few bad habits. I’ve seen a few partial eclipses but never a full. I’d like to see a full eclipse. I have many pads of sticky notes but I rarely use them. I once started to dig a hole to China. I got three feet deep and gave up. I believe, in the next life, I won’t return here. I’m not normally a messy person but the long hours at my job keeps me from wanting to clean up at the end of the day. I have had many mentors in my life. I once created a cartoon character for a girl I had a crush on. We just became friends. I was cool with that. I don’t worry about much. I took art in high school because it was easy not because I had any artistic talent. I thought the recent “Star Trek” movie is the best one to date. I think Los Lobos‘ song “Good Morning Aztlan” in one of the best driving songs there is. I think breast augmentation surgery is neato. I like candy. I hate being put on hold. I do not have a hairy back. I prefer drawing images from my head than looking at something in reality and drawing it. I think I have really nice feet. I love the Rolling Stones but I’ve never owned any of their albums. I love my wife more than I let on. I don’t crack my knuckles. I get really grossed out when I see someone else’s poo in the toilet. I will never submit artwork to Disney. I believe there’s nothing special at Area 51. I cannot burp whenever I want to. I wish I could. I have mood swings but usually they’re hard to pick up on by others. I sleep with a pillow between my knees. I have a cougar teddy bear but hopefully you haven’t read this far down to discover that. I like the music of Oasis. I own a life-size Stormtrooper. I’ve visited the grave of Loony Tunes voice actor Mel Blanc. I love the series “Seinfeld“. I’ve paid off my student loans. I had jury duty but got out of it due to exams at university. I’ve seen a funnel cloud. I drink scotch. OMG I love scotch!!! I might like to live in Nova Scotia again one day. I don’t trust doctors. I think coconut is one of the healthiest oils for you but the makers of North American grown seed oils conspire to make you believe otherwise. I can’t act to save my life but it doesn’t keep me from wanting to try. I’ve skied in the Rocky Mountains many times. I’ve flown in a helicopter through the Grand Canyon. I have a Facebook and Twitter account. I shot part of my last film in university in a real submarine. I always clean out the tub when I’m done with it. I never use coupons. I used to draw webbing all over my pajamas and pretend I was Spider-Man when I was a kid. I have a beard as I write this sentence. I have more gray hair in my beard than on my head. I was very skinny as a kid and teenager. I didn’t start “filling out” until my twenties. I think jogging is bad for your joints but I run anyway. I think I’m built for it. I sometimes cut my own hair. I was married in St. Lucia on January 29th, 2004. I have toys in my home studio and they’re not just for decoration. I’m a mild hypochondriac. My wife makes me a better person. We bought our first house in April 2004. I subscribe to my own religious beliefs. I’m not afraid of much. Although I’ve never seen it, child pornography makes me sick to my stomach. I didn’t shop at the GAP for several years after reading they admitted to using sweatshops. I’ve eaten oysters right off the ocean floor. I have all DVDs of Matt Groenig’s Futrama. I look people in the eye when I talk to them. I’ve never had an affair or cheated on my wife. I sometimes think I’m immortal due to a lifetime of perfect health – knock on wood. Up until December 2008, I hadn’t been to a dentist in 12 years – no cavities! I’ve worked with Will Ferrel. He’s a very sweet guy. I become inspired when listening to certain types of music. I’m not much into garage sales but my wife is. I don’t consider myself a very social person but I love getting together with my friends. I get very philosophical, chatty and friendly when I’m drunk. I almost never get drunk. I can speak a little French. I never yell during an argument, I speak very calmly. I think the pursuit of knowledge is far more rewarding than the pursuit of money. My life has not come full circle yet. I have a book signed and personalized with a cartoon drawn by Lynn Johnston. Although I’m very happy, I don’t think that this is as good as my life will get. I don’t take praise very well. I’ve never ridden a buffalo but I’ve eaten one. I have ridden a camel. I love ostrich meat. I’ve never had the desire to dress like a woman. I use Proactive facial cleanser sometimes but not because Jessica Simpson says it works. I love to shop. Hallowe’en and Christmas are my favorite times of year. I’ve never been to Fiji. I am a very honest person. My opinion of Bruce Springsteen changed after I read his autobiography. I’ll always love his music. I own all the Indiana Jones films. I always carry a guitar pick in my pocket. I used to own the domains starwarsepvii.com, starwarsepviii.com, and starwarsepix.com. My brother and I look alike. I tell people he’s my stunt double. I feel that my life is building up to a particular moment. I once took a road trip with actor Adam Arkin. He took me out to lunch at Harveys. I have a rib bone from a rhinoceros. I have the same ring that Magnum PI wore in his show. My paternal grandmother died the day my wife and I took possession on our first house. I miss her very much. My grandfather died two years later. Miss him too. I never understood why people cried when their dog dies until I lost mine. Balled my eyes out. I often have profound feelings that I’m destined for something greater than I am. I always prooofread. I have an inner voice but I don’t hear voices. My inner voice sounds like Magnum PI’s. It’s certainly never told me to kill people. I’d rather be famous by name than my face. I never got sick until I had kids. I have a “Master Replicas” Darth Maul dual-ended lightsaber with a polycarbonite light up blades. I don’t have to look a lot of words up in the dictionary. I’m about as honest as they come. I’m disorganized sometimes but most think I’m pretty organized. I have good friends. I’m very good at making people laugh. I’ve saved a life. I love family get-togethers. There’s so much more to me than most realize. A dream came true when I became a father. I’ll be fifty when my oldest daughter is ten. When I go to a department store I still visit the toy aisle. I listen mostly to classical music but I like Metallica. I taught myself to play the guitar and piano. I am 187 pounds as I write this (lost 38lbs). I went jogging in Rome and circled the Roman Coliseum. I can’t describe the amazing feeing. To be continued…